psrigyan p&c w10 annotation

Ways to subvert oedipal binaries (or how do you become a "good enough" caregiver)“But then again imagine an entirely different outcome: an analyst who survives destruction of the object? It seems to me one of those moments that, if we are lucky enough to be exposed to genuinely different disciplines and traditions, we can recognize the homologue in two entirely unlike forms, sameness despite difference. Such bridging of difference, in my view, was exemplary of the way to not only deconstruct but also radically reconfigure oppositions that might otherwise lead to impasse.” (Benjamin, 2013, p. 3)“By embedding this tension between mother and baby within psychoanalytic theory and an understanding of complementary dynamics the effort was to make mutual recognition into a container for something much more complex, indeed the origin of so many later dilemmas of intersubjectivity: negotiating the sticky compromises and paradoxes of a dyad in which there is mutuality but asymmetry, identity of needs but conflict of needs, deep attunement but also difference” (Benjamin, 2013, p. 6)“I was determined to have mother and baby ‘‘live’’ in the same theory and so bring together feminism and the psychology of infancy.” (Benjamin, 2013, p. 6)“when the other survives destruction, this means more broadly that the other takes care of oneself and that the patient is released from enmeshment in the other’s needs; the safety of nonretaliatory survival means that the uncontrollability and unpredictability of the other can become a source of joy. In my assessment the lacuna in appreciating the importance of a capacity to recognize and thus fully engage (and enjoy!) a different other subject reflected a gap in realizing how our sense of agency and power come from giving and not merely from receiving” (Benjamin, 2013, p. 7)“The ensuing exaggeration of the oedipal split between being and having is a marker of the fault line of gender, which it does more than merely regulate; it produces perverse and destructive forms of desire in the futile effort to escape its shameful clutche” (Benjamin, 2013, p. 11) Identificatory love“I came up with the not so euphonious term ‘‘identificatory love,’’ a homoerotic love, meaning love of what is seen as or wished to be ‘‘like.’” (Benjamin, 2013, p. 10)“how does this notion of identificatory love of the father remain relevant for understanding masculinity once we affirm (or rather once I restate what I am often rebuked for—not emphasizing the obvious explicitly enough) that the figure of attachment and separation excitement need not be so split; that mothers can be exciting as well as safe; that fathers can nurture; and that—at a social cost to be sure—boys can be girly, girls boyish, moms dads, dads moms, and everybody everything (or nothing) while anatomy and destiny too can be reversed?” (Benjamin, 2013, p. 10)“Resisting the split between identificatory love and object love, reconfiguring the meaning of subjects and objects, is part of resisting normativity and regulation in the name of producing something other. That something might be called overinclusiveness, multiplicity, or queerness, but what matters to me is its preservation of emotional aliveness and recognition in the face of pain and shame” (Benjamin, 2013, p. 13)